i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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