I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
