Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
