We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
