Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
