He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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