I'm so fucking centered right now
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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