Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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