I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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