I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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