Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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