I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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