i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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