we're blogging at a bar
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
