So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Damn victory sex feels great
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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