You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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