I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize