This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
