I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
