He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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