And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
