I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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