I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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