But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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