I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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