my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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