We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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