Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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