Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
soo... how was my night?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize