The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
