i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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