yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
