last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
