U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
