Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
