Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
