i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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