I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
