I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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