just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
