i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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