champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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