my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
