70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize