he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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