"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
