"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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