you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
