You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you mean i was at the winter classic?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
