TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
