Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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