i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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