your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
