I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize