I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
