maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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