Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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