I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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