Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
