You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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