I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
God, you're like boner-b-gone
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
