Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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