She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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