Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
