Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
