This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
