Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
